Friday, August 23, 2013

Mom is in Town, Much needed

My mom was here as I mentioned yesterday. She arrived just before noon on Tuesday and left around 3 pm on Thursday. Having her here was so great. Having had four kids, and now we are all grown up, she is immune to those things that really freak me out. Read: crying. She says it is a million times easier when it is not your child to not worry about things. Whereas for me, every time she opens her mouth and a scream comes out, my heart just breaks inside, and I cannot help but feel like I am a failure as a momma every time she cries. I assume that is pretty normal however.

I have solicited advice from lots of my mommy friends, including friends that I only stay in touch with through facebook and the blog that I used to be extremely close to (thanks Chels!) and getting a little advice from anyone who will offer it. She even cries when she is being held by me or J (or anyone), which is what I think is strange. I would expect her to cry when she is left alone (no one likes to be alone) in her pak n play or whatever, but when she is being held? Seems crazy!

At the suggestion of Chelsea, I am going to work on giving up dairy for now, to see if it helps at all. It will likely take a few days to get whatever is in my system out of it, but I am definitely willing to try it if it helps her at all. I can give up whatever I need to in order to make sure that she is healthy and stuff.

Anyway, the point of this was to talk about my mom's visit, not talk about the stress of being a momma!

When she got here, J was still at work. He was planning on working until about 3 pm, and I had an appointment with the elbow doctor at 3:45. My mom and I just hung out and watched tv. She held the baby for me so I could eat some lunch and we just got a chance to talk and hang out. We didn't really have any plans for the week, I was just looking forward to having someone else to hold the baby sometimes when I went to the bathroom, tried to eat my dinner, whatever.

I headed to the doctor solo to see my surgeon for the first time in 5 weeks. Admittedly, I have been really slacking off in any physical therapy type stuff recently. Since the baby was born, I have not put my brace on one time. So things are definitely tight in my elbow right now. I know that I still need to work on it big time. And once I get Addie more settled, I will definitely get back to it. I know that I will get there because I have been able to get it to fully straightened regularly with the brace on. So I just need to get back at it.

I got home in about a half hour, and that included the drive. So in reality, that was kind of a waste of an appointment. But whatever. I guess that is what happens when you reach your deductible on your insurance. You just...  go... I ended up beating J home, which is funny because he was VERY concerned about me asking my mom to watch Addie while I was gone. Apparently he had a few places to stop on his way home, my mom said. He text her.

We ordered a pizza for dinner because I was feeling kind of lazy (glad I had pizza then, since apparently I am going to go off cheese!) and honestly I just did not have any ideas of anything to make. I was not feeling like grilling that evening, so I just took matters into my own hands and just ordered the pizza before anyone could tell me that they did not want it. My mom held a crying Addie so J and I could eat our dinners. Then we took her and my mom ate. She is definitely extra crazy fussy in the evenings, way more than the rest of the day. And no, bathing does not soothe her. We tried that.

I was up every two hours, as usual that night. J got up early in the morning (around 5) and took her downstairs to hang out so I could continue to sleep for an hour. She got really fussy around 5 am. Eventually my mom went down there too and took care of her so J could come back upstairs and get ready for his work day. As usual, I was feeling guilty that J was up with her at all, because I do not want him to have to worry about it too much.

He headed off to work and my mom and I were alone for the day. I didn't really have any plans for us once again, except for Addie's pediatrician appointment, which was at 10 am. This was the successful appointment. The one where I found out that I managed to get the little girl up OVER her birth weight, which I was crazy proud of. I think that the hard work that Addie and I have put into nursing since the hospital has really paid off. We are into the swing of things, finally, and it is paying off in her weight, which I am crazy pleased with.

I did cook a dinner for us on Wednesday night, a simple dream dinner that was chicken with some roasted potatoes. My mom being with me all day on Wednesday definitely helped me keep my head about me enough to be able to cook a meal. J worked a mostly normal day that day. He got home right around 5 pm, which was the first time since we had Addie that he worked regular hours (he had been off completely a few days, and also took a few half days in order to help me adjust, which was so helpful).

Wednesday night was the first night that we had the 4 hours at a time sleep schedule. I was looking forward to giving it a try for sure. After the first time going down (which took quite a while for me to get her down!) it was pretty successful. I actually got a decent nights sleep for once, which I was crazy proud of. I was happy for Addie and I both, and of course J and the dogs because we all got a better nights sleep without me being up and down all night!

On Thursday after J went to work, my mom and I took Addie for a walk in her stroller. I have walked with her 4 days this week so far. It has been feeling pretty great to get out and get moving. I am getting her used to being in the BOB all the time which will definitely be a good thing when I start to get running again.

When my mom left, I was immediately sad. Very sad. I just wanted her to be here with me still. It was insanely helpful to have her here with me, reassuring me that even though Addie was crying, etc, it did not make me a bad mom. Now I just need to remember that.

But now she is two weeks old. How did I go from one to the other so quickly?

One day old compared to two weeks old...  Wow.

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