Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween!

Since I do not have any pictures in costume this year (the costume I wanted to wear does not fit me with my current "Mommy Body"), you are going to just have to deal with this one from last Halloween.
Addie is also not in her costume right now because I was 99.9% sure that she would throw up on it. So she will be wearing it later tonight during trick or treat and right now she is just wearing some Halloween fleece pjs. She has a big ole pumpkin on her tummy. It's pretty cute. It works out for the day, I suppose. We will hopefully get some pictures of her in her costume tonight that I can post tomorrow!

Yesterday I hammered through a short run at lunch at an easy pace. I know now what is going on with me. It seriously just takes a long time to get warm for me. After three miles, I start to feel good. I only ran 4.4 miles, so that kind of stinks But maybe if I take it easy for the first three miles of the Mason Half, then I will be able to kick it up after that. Here are my splits for yesterday:
Mile 1 - 9:33
Mile 2 - 9:36
Mile 3 - 9:23
Mile 4 - 9:26
Mile 0.4 - 9:22
I didn't pick up the pace at all, but I was feeling so much better later in the run. I definitely think that should help me in the long run on Sunday.

Have a Happy Halloween!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Weekend Racing & Goals

I did it. I signed up for the half in Mason on Sunday. I plan on running 4 miles today, tomorrow, and Friday at an easy pace (just to make sure my legs work) and then rest on Saturday before the race on Sunday. Honestly, I am ridiculously excited to get out there and prove to myself that I still have it. All I need is a finish. I can walk some if I need to (I hope I don't need to!) but I just want to cross the finish line. I think I can, I think I can... I think that may be my mantra for the rest of the week.

I plan on wearing my Oiselle singlet with arm warmers and my Lesley knickers (also Oiselle). Likely my procompression trainer low in purple. I think that might be my favorite outfit.

I know the hubs is buying me some Oiselle for Christmas, which I am excited about (as it is my favorite). He came in to Addie's room the other night when I was getting her ready for bed and said "I am on Oiselle's website. Mediums right?" NICE!

It is hard to believe that we are nearing the end of October. I think I need to come up with some new bigger, better goals for November. I think I have been feeling a little lost because I have been setting huge goals and been unable to meet them, or goals that are too small to really track. I am not sure what that means yet. So let me think about it, and hopefully either tomorrow or Friday I will be able to post a nice goal list. It really is going to be tricky I think. I am really not sure what the plan is for the month.

I have two more months to meet some goals for the end of the year. We will see if I get there. I am hopeful that they can be accomplished.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Hectic Days Going On

Tuesday morning. I am at work getting through pumping session number one of the day. It seems like some days this is all that I do. But I guess that is how we work in order to make sure our baby's get enough food to take good care of them. :) Gosh, I love that little baby. Little Miss Addie has taken over my entire life, whether I thought she would or not.

Things are really hectic around the office, and luckily I can work and do mommy stuff at the same time. I had no idea that things at my company, which is traditionally so laid back, could even be so hectic, but I guess every now and again, as a small company becomes a big company, you run into all of that hectic stuff. So for now, I am continuing to work, pressing ahead. I guess nothing is ever boring and that has its benefits. Luckily, I talked to the top level boss and he is feeling similarly stressed to how I am feeling, so I am glad to know that we are all in this together.

This week has been very hectic when it comes to my workouts as well. I have not managed to get one in this week because I have a lot of stuff to do for Miss Addie and work. Yesterday at lunch I had to run around and get some stuff for Addie/my trip next week, and today I didn't get into work until late because I had to take Addie to the doctor (again, prep for the trip) and things are so hectic I don't feel like I can leave at lunch today.  Maybe Addie will take a little nap after work and I can hit the treadmill for a little while. That is my hope, but I guess we will see.

In other news, we love this little goober baby!


Monday, October 28, 2013

Some Plans Changing

So... yesterday I alluded to the change in plans that I had regarding the Indy Half. I cancelled my hotel reservation, so that part is done. I am comfortable with that part of my decision. It is for little Miss Addie that I am skipping that.

So I am extremely tempted to sign up for the Mason Half Marathon (the race where my PR currently sits). While I know that a PR is well out of my reach at this point, I still want to run a half this fall just for a little bit of a confidence boost. I feel like it will be good for me going into training for a spring race (regardless of whether I decide to go for a full or a half). It would just make me feel better.

However, I will be going from 6 miles up to a half marathon, so that is a pretty big leap. I am definitely stronger than I was, so I know that can help me power through to some extent, but is it 7 miles power through? I am not sure if I can do that. And if I do not make it, then I am going to feel completely down in the dumps about my abilities. But if I do, then I will feel secure for any spring training that I choose to do, whether it is a half (going for the big PR) or a full!

Speaking of the spring training, I am going to be training for the Glass City Marathon (or half) as I have the last few springs, but this time, I am going to be a Glass City Marathon Ambassador!
I received the email from the original Ambassador, Amanda, on Friday afternoon. I am definitely looking forward to it, and I am excited to get training! I will post more details when they become available.

Also, I gave Addie a kiss, then she returned the favor.

So what do you think - would you try and run a race that you are ill trained for?

Sunday, October 27, 2013

A Great "long" Run

Sunday morning. Addie just woke up from a little nap and is eating. The puppies have been out twice and right now are cuddling on either side of Addie and me. Addie picked out her clothes for the day already because it's game day. So she's got some Chiefs gear to wear while they are going for 8-0!

She was ready for game day yesterday with the Buckeyes getting a huge 20th win in a row! 

Yesterday I started the day as I always do with Addie and the puppies. Getting everyone fed and cared for, because it seems to be more important to care for them than me right now which of course is right. After feeding everyone I left the whole gang with J so I could go to run group. 

I have resigned myself to the fact that Indy is not going to work out next weekend. Yes I have not been training so that definitely affects it, but with nursing it makes it way more complicated with a traveling race. So I decided to cancel my hotel reservation and forfeit my race registration. In line with that, I decided to head out for just 6 miles with the group. Here are the splits: 
Mile 1- 8:58
Mile 2- 9:09
Mile 3- 9:18
Mile 4- 9:06
Mile 5- 9:17
Mile 6- 9:12
Karen and I averaged a 9:10 pace over those 6 miles. It was a great run. I truly felt awesome. There are consequences of feeling awesome, I'll address them tomorrow. For now, here's a picture of Addie giving me a kiss.

Friday, October 25, 2013

LEG DAY!

...said in a similar manner to Hump Day! Gosh I love that commercial as dumb as it is. And I know I am not the only one...

So, like I said in yesterday's post, I was planning on it being leg day yesterday at lunchtime. It is one of the LiveFit workouts that I had already completed (I hope to do the other one - chest and triceps today), and I just love leg day because it makes me feel so strong. An example of this? On the leg press, I had 4 45 lbs plates on the machine, plus the sled. I think I am going to try for a 5th plate next week!

I had a successful workout, meaning, I made it there. I added weight to the barbell for squats this week (last week I did not just because it had been so long since I did squats in a squat rack I was unsure how my body would handle it). I didn't add much, just 10 lbs on each side, but I still think that it was a step in the right direction for my strength and for my mental health. Every little bit of extra weight lifted makes me feel more like my old self. I am getting stronger and feeling better every day. Even though I am not even close to where I was with running, the lifting I think makes me feel even more like me (maybe because it is my first love?)

As of right now, I am about 98% sure that I am not running in Indy next weekend. Even if I manage a long run (hoping for 10 miles?) this weekend, I just don't know how it would work out with Miss Addie, staying in a hotel, pumping, feeding, etc. Plus I have no idea how I would feel with a full-ish chest running for 2+ hours (I don't know that I would break 2 hours this time around since I am pretty much untrained). And so, assuming I was to feed her or pump right before, then I had to get to the race at least a half hour before it starts, then I run it in 2+ hours, I am going to be full by the time I finish. And while I could most likely feed her or pump in the car right after it is over, the end of the race might not be so comfy.

These are all things to be thinking about as I think about training for a full in the spring...

Here is a quick sample of our family photos.
:)

Thursday, October 24, 2013

A Rest Day & Strength

I took a rest day yesterday. It was unplanned in that I would have liked to make it to the gym, but it was planned in that I knew that I would not. We had a meeting from about 11am-1 pm yesterday, including lunch, so I knew that getting to the gym at lunch was not going to happen. However, I had already hammered through two decent workouts this week, so that isn't too bad. I have every intention of getting over there today and making today leg day (plus a 25 minute run). I have my first meeting of the day today from 9-10, and then my second from 10-10:30. So we will see what runs long (it is guaranteed to run long!) since I will need to pump at 11. But I am pumping at 11. I put it on my calendar, so I feel as though I have a legit reason to leave a meeting if necessary.

I am definitely finding myself feeling stronger, even if I cannot actually lift more weight yet. I know that will come. The good feelings are definitely helping with my confidence level though, even though my tank tops do not quite fit the way that I want them to yet (due to a bit of softness around my waist that was not present in quite the same excess prior to Addie).

Hopefully my body follows suit and eventually leans out again.

Last night was a rougher night in the baby department. I got up to pump, and then not 5 minutes after laying back down, little miss A was awake and hungry. Since I had just pumped, she nursed for a lot longer than she normally might in the middle of the night to get the same amount of food. Of course, I did it, but I ended up awake in the middle of the night for nearly 3 hours between those two things. I am definitely suffering as a result today.

Moms - how do you make it work?

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Hill Workout

Yesterday ended up better than I originally expected based on the early part of my entry. Things were so busy in the office that we did not even get a chance to address the issue that we were having. While that is just putting it off, and we still will need to address it, I had some extra time yesterday to sort of work through the issue to have some more definitive answers for when we get the chance to get together to discuss. That leaves me feeling more comfortable and solid about the problem.

I had another successful workout yesterday. I managed to get to the gym AGAIN at lunchtime, which I would consider to be a major win. This time I did the last workout from the LiveFit series that I had not yet completed, back and biceps. It left my arms (my forearms in particular) on FIRE. Regardless, I have recorded the weight that I used for all 4 days of the split and will plan on trying to get STRONGER doing these things.

After that I figured I had about 20 minutes to sneak in a cardio workout. I didn't want to spend too much time worrying about pace this time, but I knew I would get bored if I just ran at an easy pace (no headphones again), so I decided I would do hill repeats on the treadmill. Now I have never done this before, so I was not sure how high to push the incline (it was tough this time, but I survived, so I think I will push MORE next time). Here was my workout.
So I did 6-1 minute repeats with 90 seconds of recovery. I would imagine changing this up will be easy as well, I just followed the HIIT workout that I have been doing most frequently but used the incline rather than the pace. I set my treadmill at 6.3 (a 9:30 pace) and just left it there, completely 2.63 miles in the 25 minutes and being a sweaty beast when all was said and done.

Now while the half that I hope to do is supposed NOT hilly, any hills I run will only make me stronger.

Do you do hill workouts?

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Workout + Little Screamer

Just after I got home from picking up Addie last night (and was greeted by an insanely clean house, courtesy of my husband who took the day off work yesterday), I got an email from someone at work that sent my evening into a worried tailspin. Obviously, at that point, there was very little I could do about the situation, but it definitely set me up for a lot of thinking/worrying prior to arriving at the office this morning. But I reached out to the appropriate people immediately, knowing that was all that I could do for now. So now that I am in the office, we will see how today rolls out.

The good news is that I had a good day yesterday. I managed to get in a solid workout at the gym at lunchtime. As you all know, I have not been doing so great at that, so the fact that I pulled it off is great news, and something I am very pleased with. Not only did I manage to get to the gym, but I managed to get in a full workout, weights AND cardio (although not as much cardio as I might get some days!).

As far as my strength workouts go, I have been casually following Jamie Eason's LiveFit workouts as they do not seem too overwhelming to do (usually 3 sets of 6 exercises), which leaves me with time to fit in a half hour of cardio at my lunch time.
Source

Since last week ended up being a light workout week, I am not doing the days in order just yet. I am hoping to get 4 days of lifting in this week though, including all 4 that she has set up. Yesterday I did Shoulders & Abs, since I had not done them yet (and since the print out with the exercises was in my car). I did not necessarily go as heavy as I would have liked on the shoulder press, but that is because my elbow was HURTING, but I was not that far off, I was still hurting by the end. And for some of the other exercises, I was able to go heavier than I thought I would. So - winning!

After finishing the shoulders/abs circuit, I was off to the treadmill. I did three miles at an 8:55 pace. No special workout here (like speedwork, progression, HIIT), just kind of changed up the pace frequently (up and down) to keep me distracted. This gym that I frequent at lunch has the TVs that you need to have a radio app for (and tune into whatever FM stations to get sound) so I am not as easily distracted as I would be at other gyms. You know, where I might have a TV right on the treadmill that I could plug my headphones into, or even on my home treadmill where I have my TV setup in front of it. Regardless, three miles at that pace was something that I was absolutely feeling happy about.

Hopefully I can keep it up. Getting in solid workouts makes it much easier to deal with my little screamer.
Have a great day!

Monday, October 21, 2013

Quick BF Update

So yesterday was another complete failure of a day in the workout department. I definitely did not work out, despite my best intentions. I just was absolutely exhausted. I kept falling asleep on the couch next to Addie all day. And sometimes even when I was feeding her or holding her, which is probably not so great. So I am definitely still suffering from a little bit of exhaustion.

Breastfeeding TMI below - skip if that weirds you out, but it is part of my life now!

Addie has started to sleep through the night on some nights (others, she only wakes up once), but that does not mean that I am sleeping through the night. After a few conversations with Gloria (I have mentioned her before, my personal -HA- lactation consultant), I determined that I need to get up around 2 am and pump (and hope that the baby doesn't wake up WHILE I am pumping). This has a few purposes.
  1. Gets me a little bit of extra milk to freeze for when I am gone (like when J and I head to Boston without her in three weeks)
  2. Keeps me from getting WAY TOO FULL (the other day I pulled one out to feed her after her sleeping through the night and it was dripping crazy!)
  3. Keeps my supply going strong. Gloria said if I go more than 5 hours I run the risk of slowing down and potentially getting my cycle back.
So for the last three nights I have gotten myself up in the middle of the night, gone down to the kitchen (usually Teek joins me. I think she likes to make sure I am safe.) and pumped for 20 minutes. When I am at work, I usually go for thirty, but it IS the middle of the night, and that is still good.

End TMI.

Yesterday J, Addie and I got our family photos taken for the first time. Well, for the first time with Addie. We have wedding pictures, obviously, and engagement pictures too, but now we have the little Miss with us. We went to the same park that we had our engagement photos taken and it was with the same photographer (and the same one who took those few Addie pics that I shared). They went well, and Addie stayed happy for the most part. There are definitely some photos of her with a bink shoved into her mouth, but hey, she is a baby and she loves her bink. So what? I cannot wait to share everything with you.

Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to post about a workout. Hopefully soon my body will be back to agreeing with me and loving workouts and love being pushed super hard because my brain misses it.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Lazy Saturday

Saturday afternoon. Addison is asleep. J is up in Columbus for the Ohio State game. It has been pouring down rain all day. If it stops, I am going to the bank. It needs to stop so I can walk there and push Miss A in the stroller. Otherwise, it will have to wait until morning. With the rain and Addie being cranky, a long run was out for today. I am really glad that I got her to go to sleep when I took her to Target, and now I am trying to realize since it was already a trying morning.

I should think about trying to squeeze in a little workout, but probably not. I probably don't feel like it. I already told Jason he will be on baby duty for a while tomorrow so I can get one in. At this point, it definitely is not looking promising for me to manage to run in Indy. Not only am I undertrained, but J acts like I have never said anything to him about it. (PS: I have, several times...)

Instead of a workout, I went with a long hot shower while Addie napped. She was in her carseat (that is where she fell asleep) so I brought her up to the bathroom with me in her chair and she hung out in that on the floor and I was able to get a nice hot shower. With the way the weather is today, a shower was awesome. It has just been cold and gross outside, so I am really glad that I had that time to do that. It always feels good (sometimes even better than a workout?) to take a super hot shower.

It is just one of those days I guess...

Friday, October 18, 2013

What I Need Now

Well, we had a major parenting victory last night. Miss Addison Rose slept through the night for the first time. I fed her around 8:45, laid her down about 9:30, and she didn't wake (save a little bit of fussing every now and again that was in her sleep, I think!) until I woke her at 6:15 to get her dressed and fed to go to school! On one hand, I am super excited. If we get into a habit like this, I can start working out in the morning again (!!!). On the other hand, I admittedly felt a little bit sad. My Baby Addie is getting bigger. Also, holy moly...  That is the longest I have gone without feeding. As soon as I got ready to feed Miss A, we were like drip, drip drip...  Ha!

I finally ordered some Addie pics from her first two months. I had bought a snapfish living social deal along with a picaboo one, so I got some prints and a photobook made, and that will show off her first two months. Then I started a new album at snapfish called months 3-4 so I can keep track of what pictures I have already purchased. (PS: Did you know there is now a snapfish app? so much easier for uploading iPhone pics)

So here is my gal this morning as we were packing up and getting ready to go to school.
Ok, so that is enough on a daily Addie update. I promised myself I would not be a blogger whose sole focus was her children, so we can do a little update and a picture of the cuteness, and then, we move on.

As you all know, I have been battling with my head lately. I am not sure what I want. I don't know how to make that happen, as I don't know what I want. Things have been really tricky for me, and I am struggling to find my footing on the delicate balance that is happiness for me. Addie is a great kid and I love her so much more than I thought I would love a baby, any baby, but I still need my Emily things so much in order to stay on top of my game for this little girl. She is not the end all, be all of my existence, and I cannot take proper care of her without taking proper care of myself. This encompasses me mentally and physically, especially right now when what I am doing physically directly affects her (since I am her food source).

Mentally, I need to work out for my sanity. It is what keeps me balanced. It is what keeps me off medication, literally. But recently time and exhaustion have definitely gotten in the way of that recently. And I have been struggling mentally. I do not feel my best recently. I do not feel like I am on top of my game anyway. I really would like to be stronger, feel better, etc. I miss the way that running makes me feel. I miss how it made me forget when things are stressful and overwhelming. Lifting definitely did the same thing for me.

Physically, I miss what my body used to be, what it used to do. I loved that it could run a marathon. I loved that it could lift heavy. Hell, I loved that I could do a plank with my arms completely straight instead of a lopsided one that I have to do now. My life is different in so many ways beyond the fact that I have a baby to care for. I won't ever be as strong as I once was. I do not think I am going to get 100% mobility back to my arm. Not to mention the fact that I used to look better than I do now, I am definitely still soft.

I need to figure all of this out... I am stressed out.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Pukey Smiles & Stress

So, Addie's two month checkup was yesterday (when she was technically two months and one week old). I set us a goal based on her one month appointment. At one month old, Addie weighed 7 lbs, 12 oz. My goal was to be just under 10 lbs by this appointment, which would give her that roughly 1 oz per day gain that they talk about as being a good thing at this age. Now, this was not a goal set for me by the doctor or anything, but in my head, I set it. I told J about it and my mom as well.

So yesterday...  9 lbs, 14 oz! We reached our goal! And we moved from the 8th percentile to the 10th for weight! YUSS! I am so proud of Addie and I for making that goal. But then she got 4 shots. Boo. She screamed in a way that I have never heard before. Not super loudly, but just a very different sort of scream than she usually has. I managed to not cry, which was a big win according to the nurse, and we got a print out of her immunizations to take in to school for her file. (Plus, she was good when J and I went out for dinner!)

She is my little one and I love her for all of that... I even love the happy spitter she has become. She will spit milk all over my clothes (this morning a lululemon jacket I was wearing) and then grin at me, her big toothless smile. You cannot be mad at that!  And yes, I came to work with puke on my clothes. What are you going to do?

I am still feeling rather overwhelmed with everything. My food intake is not that great. My workouts are not all that existent. I do not know what I am doing or how to make everything fit together. It makes me worry and stressed and ... well, all of those things.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Trying to get back into it

I have tried to get back on the workout horse this week. I am slowly starting to feel better and stronger. I know that I am going to need to continue to get good sleep and eat well in order to keep my energy levels up. So I am going to keep working hard to do that.

On Monday, I was faced with a little bit of frustration. I had a meeting that was scheduled for an hour. It went 45 minutes over, which went into my normal pumping times (I have blocked them off on my calendar, and I take my computer to the mommy room with me so it is not like I am losing productivity), which made me start to feel physically uncomfortable. I excused myself eventually, making the men in the room uncomfortable (Tina told me that!) and the meeting was still going on. At this point, it was lunchtime, I had hoped to be at the gym.

Naturally, after getting a late start on pumping (even though I work throughout!) I felt uncomfortable leaving to go to the gym. I just didn't want anyone to think that I was not pulling my weight, even though having a lunch time seems completely legit. So I was feeling upset that I did not get a workout in, when it was the first day that I felt well enough to do one since the previous Wednesday. I emailed Karen, as usual, whining about how stressed out it made me that I was not going to get a workout in again. She reassured me. Told me to quit with all of the guilt (definitely was feeling REALLY guilty). And told me that if I wanted to, it would be easy enough to go for a nice walk/jog with Addie after I got home. It was a beautiful day after all...

She was right, of course, so I made an effort to stress less, and after I picked up Addie I changed her diaper and loaded her up into the stroller. I wasn't sure how the run was going to go, but I wanted to cover at least 4 miles today. What amount of that would be run versus walked was up in the air at that point. Here is where we ended up with our splits:
I ran the first 4 miles and then we walked home the rest of the way. As you can see, for the 4 miles that we ran, we negative split! I ended up with a 10:02 average pace for those 4 miles. And it was a stroller PDR (previously that had been the Hike for Hospice 5K a few weeks back. So I would say despite my whining and guilt, we had a successful run.

And now, here is baby's first tutu:
I love her...

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

A Weekend of Gratitude

I tried to warn Addie that it would not be long before there were new babies in her classroom. Babies that were younger than her...  Yesterday two new babies started. Both that are only 6 weeks old. So they are three-ish weeks younger than her. However, in some ways she still holds an upper hand because of her tiny peanut status. We will see what kind of progress we are making on that tiny peanut status at her two month appointment on Wednesday (even though by then she will be two months and one week!)

We are still shooting for approximately 2 lbs gained by then. I would be thrilled with that, because that would show that I have managed to do a good job with feeding even though I have had moments where I wanted to cry because I feel like I am struggling so much with it. I did get to use the hospital grade pump when I was in Toledo over the weekend though. I am seriously considering renting it for a month (apparently that will run me $70, but if it helps supply that would be worth it, right?) because it did seem to help in the few times that I used it over the weekend. I am eternally grateful to my Mom's friend Gloria for all that she has done for me in offering help and advice since Addie was born about feeding. She has helped me, calmed my nerves, and let me borrow that pump so I could test it out!

Let's talk about my weekend though. I was in Toledo for the first time since my baby shower back in May. It was the first time Grandma Rose (that's my mom!) saw Addie since she was just 10 days old! She is a changed baby.

I am sure that you have seen both of these pictures already, but it is just for reference since this was what happened since my mom last saw this gal! HUGE changes.

Although I did not get any workouts in (as noted in yesterday's post), it was a weekend of blessings. Addie and I are blessed to have wonderful family who would do almost anything for us. My dad who watched the dogs so I could go to Frankenmuth and Jason did not have to worry about them when he was traveling around showing off Addie. My mom who watched Addie on Friday night so Jason and I could go to a charity auction with my dad (and he bid on and won some OSU tickets for this coming weekend!)  And my sister, who loves Addie more than just about anything, despite going through her own fertility issues.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Weekly Workouts: Week of October 7

As far as workouts go, last week was not great. I struggled with time management and exhaustion. I am not sure where the exhaustion comes from. It could be the full time job + all night with a baby, it could be adding in the strength training that I have been trying to do, it could be my body not yet being adjusted to getting mostly good food versus processed crap, I don't know. Most likely it is a combination of all of the above, but either way, I am just beat. Last week, I took as many rest days as I did the week I had my elbow operated on and was in terrible pain + meds!

I am hoping this week will bring a back-on-track sort of week so I can at least feel like I am accomplishing something. I know that I am likely going to be winging it at the Indy Monumental, but like I have said, at this point, finishing is my goal. That is it.

So anyway...  I guess it is time to look at my workouts for the week, it shouldn't take too long due to the end of the week meltdown...

Monday: Chest & back strength training. HIIT sprints on the TM (totaling 2.57 miles)
Tuesday: Tempo run, 1 mile warm up, 3 @ 8:29-ish, 1 mile cool down
Wednesday: Legs and Core Strength training, HIIT strength workout (very similar to a Crossfit WOD)
Thursday: REST (was WAY too tired)
Friday: REST (needed to pack to travel to Toledo)
Saturday: walking all over Frankenmuth (basically, rest)
Sunday: REST

As you can see, this was pretty much the worst workout week I have had in AGES. I was full of guilt for the remainder of the week when I realized on Friday that I definitely was NOT getting a workout done. It just was not going to happen. There was too much to do at our house before we picked up Addie to take her to Toledo for the weekend. Going to the gym would not be good for helping my family out.

I am very very hopeful that soon enough we will have her sleeping through the night full time. Once she does, then hopefully I will be able to be caught up on sleep enough again to start getting in workouts in the morning. I am struggling to squeeze in my lunchtime workouts right now. I am very hopeful that all of this resolves itself quickly. I am STRUGGLING at work right now as a result.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Diet-to-Go #Giveaway WINNER!

Well, my first giveaway is complete!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Congrats to Julie! Please email me at emily.a.nickles@gmail.com by Wednesday, October 16 with your mailing address and meal preference (traditional low fat, low carb, or vegetarian) as well as any allergies (for instance, I am allergic to shellfish!) that might affect your meals.

Congrats again and I hope you LOVE them!

Friday, October 11, 2013

Exhaustion and Self Doubt

I am the most exhausted I think I have been since Addie was born. And it is not 100% her fault. Granted, I am still getting up in the middle of the night once per night (she slept from 9 pm to 3 am last night!) but that is definitely not all that is going on. Here are things that I believe contribute to my exhaustion:
1. Waking up once in the middle of the night, every night (obviously).
2. Being back at work full time. With my new boss (my former one left right before I had Addie. Seriously, his last day was the day before my doctor's appointment where they told me that I was going in that night to be induced!) here now, there are a lot of new things to do and learn and look at. We are trying to make tons of improvements to the team and how we do things, and that is taking up a lot of time. No more mid-month slacking off for Emily!
3. I am hitting it HARD at the gym. No more casual runs. I am lifting 3 days per week, doing HIIT workouts, and trying to squeeze in long runs so I can still reach my Indy Monumental goal (FINISH!)
4. I am adjusting to my new diet. I am eating more food overall, but it is definitely very different food than what I was eating previously. That is a good thing, but as I am not having any added sugar or anything, it has been a little bit trickier to get adjusted. I am hoping soon enough I will be through cravings, etc, and then can really focus on getting back to the old me.
This is my girl feeling content post-booger sucker. It is our little routine, and I hate feeling too tired to spend this time with her. Obviously, at this point, I do it anyway as I am her food source.

I am crossing my fingers that I can get over this hump with a few really solid nights of sleep and one strong training run. That can just make a girl feel better.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Sleepy Scheduling

So I tried something new with Addie last night. I had been waking her every four hours since she was 10 days old to feed her at night. This was because of how tiny she is. People that are friends or coworkers are surprised that at two months, I was still doing that. After all, I am feeding her, she is growing, and even though my supply my struggle, I work hard every day with pumping to try and increase things, as well as to make sure that at least the three feedings that she gets at school every day are large-ish. So they might be bigger than what I give her at home based on my supply. She has always been a frequent eater versus a large eater. So maybe more of a snacker? She has "eating for your physique" ideals (8-10 small meals a day rather than 5-6 large sounds like the baby equivalent of my 5-6 smaller meals per day rather than 3 large, doesn't it?) as a baby!

Anyway, I fed her around 9 pm. This is our normal bedtime feeding time. Before bed, we bathe (every other night), get a clean diaper, put our pjs on, and right now, use the booger sucker thing as she has been congested. She hates it, but you can tell she knows it helps her because when we are done, she is all smiles, as evidenced here:
After that we are ready to feed. Usually feeding puts her right to sleep.

After feeding, she went down. I set my alarm, as usual, for 1 am, but made the decision that I was going to let her sleep. I was just going to wait until she started crying before I went in to feed her again. She is growing up and maybe doesn't need her mommy every four hours. Let the gal sleep! She woke up at 4:30 am. I fed her, and back down she went. I had to wake her in the morning though, around 6:30 to make sure she had time to eat and get ready for the day before I took her to school.

Overall, we did pretty well...

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Addison Rose: 2 Months

Baby post ahead - you have been warned.

We have hit another milestone in little Miss Addie's life. She is two months old already. Today!
Also, she loves mommy. And I just like the blue clothes. I know that normally I have her dressed in pink, purple, and yellow, but this is one of my favorite outfits I have come up with for her. The navy pants are actually baggie sweats, and I LOVE them!

It is becoming more and more clear every day that her personality is developing. I love watching her. She gets engaged in things much more than she did a month ago, enjoying her activity mat, the mobile in her crib, the things that I attached to her carseat to dangle in front of her face. She has become completely enthralled with Zeus, which is hilarious, because he doesn't really care about her (unlike Teek, who can't get close enough!) She loves her blankets (we use the Aden & Adais swaddle blankets) and likes to feel the close to her face.

She seems to love school as well. She gets "contented" marked on her daily progress report pretty much every day. She got "fussy" on two separate days, and her dad told her that was the baby equivalent of an "F" (I disagree. She could have gotten "crying", I think fussy is more of a C.) Regardless, no more fussy marks since then! I like the two teachers in her room, and with her being the smallest/youngest, she gets lots of attention from them. Plus every one at the school knows her. I have heard while walking down the hall with her "Oh look, there's that tiniest baby!" It makes me smile.

We have her two month doctor appointment next week, so I will have updated weight/head measurement/height then, but I am hoping for the high 9 lb range, which would have her gaining around 2 lbs over the last month. That would be right around perfect, if we stick with the ounce/day standard.

We will see how it goes!

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Thoughts after 1 Day (+Addie Pics!)

Yesterday was day 1 of being on the meal plan created for me by The Get in Shape Girl. It was extremely filling, and I struggled to fit in all of the meals. And the food was much higher quality than I normally get. The only processed food I ate all day was whey protein powder after my workout. And while I generally eat a good amount of veggies, etc, I might supplement a lot of that with processed crap.

This morning when I woke up, I honestly felt a little different. I know it has been only one day, so it likely is just a mental thing, but I will take it, whatever it is, because I feel good. So now I just need to keep it up. It is not going to be easy to stick to the plan all the time, but I am determined to really get the results that I want from this venture. I mean, I am paying good money for help because this was something that I needed the motivation to stick to.  Having a way to stay accountable, etc, is going to be the key is really getting comfortable eating lots and lots of clean foods.

I was thinking about it, and my first coach that I worked with, Joe, did not provide a whole lot of specifics, for meal plans. He obviously said that food is best (and would prefer eggs to protein powder, etc), but in general, it was "stick to the outlined macros". I definitely made progress here with this plan. I trained myself in the importance of protein (and I ALWAYS go way over what protein says is required on MFP or whatever tracking app I may be using at the time), but I did not really break cravings for bad foods, or adjust to eating cleanly all the time. I am hoping that I am finally going to crack that and be on top of this.

I am hoping that "healthy fats" (including nut butters a few times a day!) will help get me over the hump. I always buy natural almond/peanut butter, so the only ingredients are that nut (and sometimes salt), so I don't feel guilty about it. We will see how things go, I am only a few days in, so I cannot really make a judgment call about diet yet.

Now the workouts? So far, I can say that things are going pretty darn well. I have done three prescribed workouts so far (2 strength and 1 tabata/full body) and feel like I am really enjoying them and getting a lot out of them. It definitely helps that I have had experience with other coaches and trainers, because most of the moves I am comfortable executing. Some I need to watch videos on for a little help, but in general, I feel like I know what I am doing and I am able to use good form.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, Addison:



She will be 2 months old tomorrow!

Have you entered my giveaway yet?

Monday, October 7, 2013

Weekly Workouts: Week of September 30

Another Monday, which means another wrap up of my weekly workouts. I like having them all laid out for me right here, that way I feel a little bit more accountable for what I did (or didn't do!) during the week.

Last week was a week of transition, I feel like. I still got in some runs, but for once, my week was not focused on running. I know that running is not going to get me to the physical place that I want to be, and that I feel comfortable at, so I am scaling back. I am still planning on running in Indy in November, but it will likely be on just three runs per week, maxing out at 10 miles. I would feel comfortable with a half marathon having run 10 miles I think. That last 5K will be all mental.

This newfound plan goes along with the fact that I am now officially working with Kyra to get back to my prebaby (not to mention, pre-elbow injury) self. So here were last week's workouts:

Monday: Legs & core circuit
Tuesday: 4 miles, easy pace over lunch
Wednesday: 2.18 mile walk with Carol over lunch
Thursday: 3.12 mile progression run
Friday: 2.5 miles HIIT workout (5 minute warm up, 60s on/90s off, 5 minute cool down) & Shoulders and arms strength workout
Saturday: 2.2 mile walk (to and from Hospice), 5K (which measured at 3.2 miles), 1.8 mile cooldown run - all with Addie and the stroller
Sunday: Full body tabata workout - 24 minutes

Totals: 19 miles (running & walking), two strength workouts, 1 full body crosstraining

Overall, it was a very good week of workouts, and I can only anticipate things getting better and better as time goes on. I will keep everyone up to date on my progress as time passes.
My smiling girl for your viewing pleasure.

Diet-to-Go A GIVEAWAY

As you will recall, I am a Diet to Go Ambassador, and I have been given the opportunity to review their meals previously, and I really enjoyed them.
You can reread the most recent review of their products that I was given the opportunity to enjoy here. And just keep thinking about those blueberry roll up pancakes... Yummm....
(recycled picture)

Now, Diet to Go wants to give one of my readers the opportunity that I was given previously, the chance to win 5 days worth of meals!

You get to choose your own option: traditional low fat meals, low carb meals, or vegetarian meals. In my experience, I just went with the traditional low fat and was pleased with the variety I was given.  The meals will be shipped directly to your house on Monday October 14 in a styrofoam cooler and will be frozen with instructions on how to cook each one. The nutrition facts for each meal are also available on the packaging for those of you who are counting calories/macros.

So...  do you want to win? Enter below! The giveaway will close at midnight on October 12.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Friday, October 4, 2013

Being a Mom, a New Focus

So I am reaching the end of my second week back at work, post baby. Work has been interesting. It is different now to have a new boss who has not been 100% briefed on things. He will send me an email, which I will respond to, and he will respond back with "What's that?" That is always an interesting little bit. It is also interesting to be a little bit behind the times myself. There have been some things happening, some changes, etc, that happened while I was out that I am not 100% up to date on yet. Regardless, it has been a pretty busy week at work, and that has definitely distracted me from that pretty little thing I leave in Miss Bernie's arms at the Gardner School every day.
There we are sitting on the couch enjoying the football game last night. I do miss her pretty much all the time while I am at work, which is definitely completely unexpected by me, but I guess it is good. I guess that means my "mom gene" kicked in after all.

Next week I really start kicking it into high gear with my food and workout plans. I am really focused on getting back to the gym and getting in solid workouts that are going to get me back to where I am comfortable. Yes, I am still planning on running, Yes, I am still going to be running 3-4 days per week, but I am really going to be changing my focus. This is going to be about getting strong, and then I can adjust accordingly.

Working on my meal plans and grocery list right now thanks to Kyra - so wish me luck!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Lofty Goals

I am feeling a little lost right now with goals and stuff. I have two big goals, and they do not necessarily work together very well.
My fear is that these goals may be somewhat mutually exclusive. I mean, my body is likely to hold on to a little bit of the tummy that I developed for some extra fat to help with feeding. At least, that is what I am seeing so far. I have been making a lot of efforts to work hard to clean up my diet. I am pretty much off diet coke (YES!) and I am packing my lunch (lots of protein!) every day. And J and I have pretty much only been going out to dinner once a week, which is HUGE for us.

I reached out to Kyra (also known as the Get in Shape Girl) asking some questions and asking about her experience with nursing mothers. We have emailed back and forth twice now, so I am hoping to hear from her again today. Someone whose job it is to get women into shape might be valuable to me.

What big goals are you working toward?

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Strength and Body Image

I skipped my run on Monday. It was the first day that both the boss and I were in the office together, since he started working here while I was out on maternity leave. And then last week (my first week in the office) he was out on his honeymoon, so we still didn't have a chance to work together. So Monday we were both here and there was a lot to talk about and discuss that we had not looked into or considered yet, so we needed to spend a lot of time talking. That pushed my pumping session back a little bit. And then after it was done, I did not feel like I could leave work to get my run in, so I just stayed.

I immediately felt guilty, as I had three miles scheduled on my plan for that day, and I knew that I was not going to get it done later in the day after I picked up the baby, whether she was being good or not. After work running just does not appeal to me that much anymore, I guess (I am not sure that it ever appealed to me, but whatever). So I just knew that it was not going to happen for me. However, I was not yet ready to give up my weekly rest day already, knowing it was VERY likely that I would take one on Sunday regardless of whether I wanted to or not. I just get lazy on Sundays.

So when I got home from work and Addie was still asleep in her chair (she apparently did not get as much sleep as usual at school so she fell asleep in the car and was still asleep!) I threw together a little legs & core workout. Legs, core and glutes are what need the most help since she was born, so I tend to focus on them a little bit more. Here is the workout that I did.
I supersetted one leg move with a core move and completed all 4 sets before moving on to the next superset. I did not use any weights, just my body weight, and it was still pretty tough given I was still a little bit sore from bootcamp last week. I think that is crazy that my body was still feeling the after affects of that workout, but at the same time, I am proud of myself for pushing through and getting this workout done.

I am trying to think of what my options are or what they may be as I get my runs in during the week. I am loving running and stuff, but I do not have the sense of urgency to train for a big race right now. I think I will be able to train for a half just fine, but I think my focus is going to be on improving my mid distance races. Maybe some 10Ks in the spring. We will see, I obviously change my mind about this all the time. I am just worried about making time for the baby and stuff, not to mention the fact that focusing on running is not going to get me to my pre-baby place.

I had a struggle with my body on Tuesday morning when I got dressed. I don't really know what happened, or what specifically caused it, I just felt gross in my clothes. Because of that, I actually ended up changing my entire outfit. It did not help me to feel 100% better, but it did help a bit, so I am glad that I did it.

Tuesday was also back to the running game. I wanted to get in 3-4 miles at an easy pace over my lunch break. I was not going to allow anything else to get in the way of that this time because I really wanted to be able to work towards hitting my weekly 20 mile goal, not to mention continue to train for the Indy Monumental that I am working toward. Here is the route I took:


I got to get out and run near the lake again! This was my first time over there since being back at work. As you can see, I added some little out and back sections here and there just to add on a little bit of additional mileage. I did these 4 miles in 38:08 or a 9:32 average pace. That is a pretty solid easy pace for me.

How are your workouts going so far this week?

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

D1 Bootcamp

I promised some information on the bootcamp workout that I did with my coworkers on Friday, and I want to use this entry space to talk about it. I am working on writing this on Monday, and the first thing that I want to say about it is that parts of my upper body are STILL feeling the workout. So it was definitely a solid one. I am glad that I did my long run on Saturday morning, because it was before a lot of the DOMS set in, so I was able to get through the run. On Sunday, I probably would not have.

So a few months back, my coworkers started to go to bootcamp at D1.
Are you familiar with D1 sports training at all? There are locations nationwide, and our happens to be a part of Beacon Orthopedics and Sports Medicine (not the group who worked on my elbow, and in some ways, that is too bad!) D1 is owned by MANY top caliber athletes, including Herschel Walker, Tim Tebow, and locally, Heather Mitts (US Soccer player). There is a weight area, and a turf field all set up there. It is a pretty cool facility and I definitely wonder what kind of things they do there beyond bootcamps.

There were about 8 of us from work participating in this class that I was a part of. It was just our work people as well, there were no other participants on that day (I guess sometimes there is a small group from another company that goes at the same time). We started out with some warm up things on the field. High knees, stretches, some walking lunges, etc. We followed that up with sprints (ahhh...  my typical saving grace. I may not be fast, but these don't hurt!) and then did a little jump roping before we got into a strength portion of the workout. That consisted of decline push ups, pistols, overhead squats, pull ups, planks, and reverse back extensions (lifting your legs instead of your head, if that makes sense). This was the first time I have ever done pull ups with a band.

It was with this portion of the workout that I was reminded of my limitations due to my elbow. I had to do straight arm planks instead of elbow planks and I could only do a side plank on one side (my right arm is not strong enough to support my body!) And then more embarrassing was doing overhead squats. We were just doing them with a PVC pipe, working on form more than anything, and the trainer says to me, "Straighten your right arm." I say, "I can't." So he tells me to move my arms forward a little, so I do and tell him I still can't. This is as straight as that arm will go. :(

Then we did another strength section of workouts. I used 15 lbs dumbbells for this section. The workout was as follows:
6x pull press
8x bent over row
8x push ups
8x lunges (4 per side)
8x upright row
6x tire swing (3/side)
Repeat until the end of class. I did three complete rounds, and the 4th I completed everything other than the tire swing. It was TOUGH but well worth it.

It felt awesome to use heavier weights (even if they were only 15 lbs) for the first time since breaking my elbow. I would like to go back, but at the same time, I am not sure I am willing to sacrifice running for bootcamp, and because lunchtime is pretty much the only time that I have for squeezing in a workout right now, I would have to sacrifice my runs. It is a tough decision, even though I know that it is pretty likely that I would get my pre-baby body back more quickly with bootcamp than with running.

Regardless, it was a killer workout, and I was glad to finally be able to see what all of the fuss was about with my coworkers and be able to join them in the class. I am going to spend some time thinking about it and considering all of my options, I think because lifting IS my first love.

Thoughts on getting in 4x runs per week, 3x bootcamp per week, AND exclusively breastfeeding a baby when your husband works a ton of hours?