So first of all, somehow I have only 3 pageviews today. Um, that seems bizarre considering even when I was not posting AT ALL for 2 months, I was still getting 20-30 per day. So super strange, but it is what it is, I suppose?
Yesterday was another day of running, in an effort to get my mind off of the things that I was thinking about, the things that are haunting my thoughts these days... Unfortunately, one of the biggies is running related. It is - am I focused enough and motivated enough to cut three minutes and forty three seconds off of my marathon time, stay focused enough in the last 10K of a marathon to get that big BQ time that stared me right in the face just a few months ago. I am getting closer to being fully committed, I think, but I am not 100% there yet.
Sometimes as I am covering mileage, i think to myself... holy crap, I am struggling with my paces right now, how on EARTH am I going to be able to hold this pace (or whatever pace it might be) for 26.2 miles! (or whatever thing I am struggling with in the moment.)
It is a lot about running motivation these days, because I know what my big fat hairy goal is, but at the same time, it seems pretty difficult to gather the amount of focus that I need to really grow and gain fitness to achieve it.
Obviously there is a lot going on in my world other than running. I have been working about a million hours. I am not the mother of a 17 month (!!!) old. Somehow in all of this I need to keep my head, keep my wits about me. Continuously move forward and become a better and healthier version of Emily so I can teach that to Addison (we have some work to do on foods that are not breads and fruits though. I suppose that is semi-normal for her age, and I may experiment a bit...)
Work has been kind of constant lately. I have been insanely busy with a few long term projects that we have been working on for months, and then some big things came up the last two weeks of December, and now, being an accountant, I am obviously slammed with year end things, and it will continue to be like that at least until we get through our audit in late February. So I am stuck for now. I know that everyone that I work with feels that I am a valuable member of the team, blah blah blah, and they trust my judgment and knowledge in a lot of areas, so it is hard not to put all of my effort into it.
ahh... well, tomorrow is this week's long run, and I plan on double digits for the first time since Columbus. Last week I ran 9. I guess I am slowly getting there at some level. I want to continue to make progress, continue to add endurance, and continue to get stronger.
How is your motivation now that we are in spring marathon training season?