So yeah, I am obviously still trying to build up my mental game. Some days I feel like it is going well, and other days... not so much. Last Thursday was a great example of a mental day that started out awesome. And ended... not awesome. At all.
So, as you know from my recap of the week, I had a tempo run on Thursday. As you can see, that was a 6 mile run with 5 of them at tempo. Now, trust me, that was not that plan. My original goal was 8 miles with 6 at tempo pace. So... What I ran, with one more tempo mile and then a cooldown mile. I cannot remember how much, or what I was posting about a year ago, but I got hit with some ongoing problems.
It was the same problems that hit in Chicago, and the same stuff that has hit me several times over the last few years. Running and sometimes not, it has effected me many times over the last year. And for once in my life, it is not something that I caused myself.
Not great at all. And they come out of nowhere a lot of the time. In Chicago I was feeling less than awesome for 6 miles before I finally called it. I suppose you figure things are a little different in a marathon type situation, especially with everything that you have put into preparing for this race. But when it is just a training run, you sit for a few minutes and start running again and you are not feeling any better? It is much easier to just call it.
So I think the biggest struggle that I had on Thursday was the fact that it just smashed me in the face. I started out pretty easy, comfortable, and cranked out the first mile in 8:12 before starting to push the pace a bit to get to more of my tempo miles logged. I was supposed to be running them at around marathon pace, but I felt free to run how I wanted to. I was feeling awesome, and the miles were ticking off at a quick pace. I thought this was going to be the confidence boosting run that I needed to really bring me back around and bring the confidence back that I had lost when I dropped out of Chicago two weeks ago.
But then after the first 4 tempo miles, It was game over for me. Something happened, and the dizzy hit me like a bolt to the chest. I took some time, sat down on a bench near where I was at the time, and tried to regroup. After a few minutes, I got up and started running again. My legs felt like lead, my head was swimming, things were not great. Not even a little bit. I was terrified with the lead legs just because I have fallen so many times in the past. And for some strange reason, I just could not get over the hump of trying to slow down and finish the miles. In my head, I had to log the miles on my plan so I needed two more tempo miles before I could slow down.
Eventually, I just had to throw in the towel. I was not getting any better and I could not get out of my head at all. I called it at 6 miles, 5 of them tempo paced, and just walked back to my office.
Since Thursday, I have been to the doctor, started and stopped a medication (that made my head even more foggy and made me ridiculously tired), made an appointment with a neuro at the recommendation of my doctor, made an appointment with my therapist in case it is anxiety, and ran 18 miles with only a small issue.
So. Onward and upward.