Sometimes I feel as though I just missed something... I don't know why that feeling can occasionally niggle in the back of my mind, but occasionally, I just think that things are passing by without me noticing, and then when I do, I feel like "huh... how did that happen?" and then I reach back and try to figure that part out. The part that tells me when it happened.
Sometimes I feel this with silly things, I am reading blogs and reading a more recent post, and realize I missed a pregnancy announcement or something. Yes, this is a simplistic example, but it kind of gives a better example of what I am trying to talk about.
And let me be clear, this is my real life, not just me reading blogs.
This morning I am feeling a little bit behind, which is not a great feeling. Running this weekend has not gone the way that I had hoped. I got 7 miles on the treadmill yesterday before Addison woke up. J works Saturdays at this time of year, so I brought her down into the basement with hopes of finishing the run while she watched something on netflix, but right now, she is way too into the treadmill. She likes to do her "exercises". And while that makes me happy, it does make it difficult to get my own run done.
So it is approx 6:30 on Sunday morning and I am up for my coffee and am likely going to go out for a run shortly. It is kind of unfortunate, as today would normally be my day off, but I want to get through the mileage at least that I had planned. In order to do that, I need to run 7. I do not really have a plan yet, I think I am just going to run and see how it goes. I may stop at 7, I may not... Playing it by ear, which I am generally not great at, but I need to allow myself some grace as my friend Jes says... Granted, she was talking about grace in other aspects of my life, but I think it is just as important in running.
I am definitely way too hard on myself in most cases, cases that deal with running and cases that deal with anything and everything else. I think that I need to work on allowing myself some space, some happiness, and really focus on trying to breathe all the time. I am not great about these things and I definitely need to be better about them. I have been good about "doing something for myself everyday" as I asked myself to during my goals post (yesterday: run 7 miles, drink a sour beer - love them, color some owls), but I am still much too hard on myself. Maybe if I remind myself daily of what I did myself the prior day - like I just did there - can really help me to realize that I am taking care of myself.
And so, it is time to really focus, and really give that grace that is needed, so thanks Jes for the reminder...