Thursday, February 25, 2016

Back to work

I received a comment on my blog post about my track workout from early in the week (last week's track workout) from a teammate from my Ragnar team last summer about how it was her first trip to the track in a long time and she was feeling a little nervous.

So, I get that, but it was about something else...

On Tuesday this week, I went back to my therapist for the first time since June 30, 2015.

Whoa, it has been a while. When she told me that it had been since then, I was blown away that it had been so long. I suppose in some ways, I almost felt like it had been longer, but with everything that I have going on, I was definitely going to need to be back in there and just have someone to bounce everything off of...
Yeah, that is possible... Although the other 13 problems are potentially legit.

After some conversations with my dad, my therapist, and even my coach over the last few weeks, I have come up with the following prioritization:
1. Emily
2. Addison
3. family
4. Everything else

You have to be ok with putting yourself first, and it does not make you selfish. I have to remember that, and I have to keep to it.I have to be able to be ok with all of these things and make sure that I am really working hard to keep myself in that number one spot. I think that sometimes the world can make us as women think that we need to talk care of other people first, everyone else before we take care of ourselves, but that just is not sustainable. At least not healthily sustainable.

While this is something that we read over and over in women's magazines, blogs, running websites, motherhood articles, etc, that WE need to take care of OURSELVES first, the guilt is still there, you still feel like you may not be a good mother, or a good spouse, or whatever because you actually made an effort to put your needs ahead of someone elses... You are wrong. That makes you a BETTER woman...

Like I said, we read this everywhere, all the time. I just honestly HOPED that by getting it all out there in writing would help me to really express it, really BELIEVE it....

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