Tuesday, January 24, 2017

A bad workout

Everyone has a bad workout every once in a while, right? I know that I have before, but it still stings pretty much every time it happens. It can destroy your confidence a bit and force you to rethink your goals, even when you shouldn't.

I want to write a post specifically about last Thursday's workout. I feel like I need to, because it was a rough one, and it was mostly rough because I mentally struggled through it. Not physically.

So the scheduled workout was 7 miles. 3 of them were supposed to be "all-out" as a fitness check. Now, outside of a race, Coach Jen has never given me something all-out, and so I was lost. Completely confused. Unsure of what I am capable of running (and maintaining for three miles), as well as what to expect for what I "should be able to run."

Here are my splits for this run, which shows that I was in a better place than I am sure I expected to be. Or maybe not, but regardless, this definitely does not tell the full story.

I overthought this run. Not knowing what pace I was supposed to run gave me high levels of anxiety rather than allowing me to enjoy it. I basically freaked myself out, ended up taking a bunch of breaks telling myself I was going to fall, that my legs were dead, that I was in terrible shape, etc. I was texting Jen, texting Charlie, freaking out. And eventually, once I gave myself permission to NOT do that workout, I was able to finish it. And finish it strong.

It is weird the way that these things happen. By the time I was back at my office, I was definitely in a better mood about the whole thing. Mile 6 did include a little walking at first in order to best get my heart rate back down. I was a bit worked up, even though I was able to finish out the faster miles (I ran that last full mile with no stops, unlike the first two.)

I don't know if this is a workout that I will attempt again, but I am hopeful that if I am given it, I can go into it without stress. I am hoping that I can just go out, run fast, and forget all of the other things. I am hopeful... I got this. Right?

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